Our deck is saving my life this summer.
This is the laziest summer we have had since 2013, the summer we found out I was pregnant with Oliver. It has been Heaven.
Sleeping regularly until 10:30. Going nowhere, except for maybe a ride in the evenings. A couple of photo gigs.
TV and video games are the rule of the summer at our house this year, and I am completely unashamed of it. Everyone is bathing and eating regularly. And getting to bed at reasonable hours.
I dreaded summer. But I will surely miss the kids’ company when they go back to school in less than a month now.
I am less distressed about the past today. Having wedding photos to concentrate on finishing has really been a Godsend the past couple of days.
But really, I think it’s more than that. I feel more peace when I release Steve from my daily thoughts. Less trauma memories. That’s all I really have, really, are trauma memories of that relationship. Sometimes it feels like I have to hang onto those for some reason, as if keeping those memories close to the surface will somehow protect me from bad things happening. I understand that is a serious fallacy.